20 weeks

Newly improved recipe binder

I had a smaller recipe binder that was getting too full, so I bought a bigger one, and finally added tabs to make it easier to find stuff. Here's how it turned out.

The Air Force life

The Air Force life can be hard and isolating. I'm saying these things not in comparison to other branches of the military, because lots of other people have it harder, but just about our lives. Although I feel blessed in so many ways, moving to a new place with no close friends or family, and then having your husband gone - well, it's just not the easiest thing!

John just went on 3 trips in a month. Usually that wouldn't happen, but they were desperate for pilots. It was a hard month - I wasn't able to talk to him much on his trips, and being home alone all day felt really lonely. I tried to stay busy, and I could tell God was helping me, so I tried to think of it as another way I could get closer to Him, and he could show His faithfulness. But it was still isolating. I've been reading pregnancy and birthing books, and one was talking about having a close friend be with you in the birthing room too...and it made me sad thinking I haven't been here long enough before this big event in my life to have a best friend here. I am thankful my mom can come down here to help me with the baby, but it sometimes feels overwhelming knowing I won't have other help. It's a daily choice to surrender those feelings to God, and know he will take care of us.

When John does get home from a trip, he is often a zombie for days, trying to catch up on sleep. They only sleep about half the nights during their trips - I would be a mess! He comes home just wanting to hang out with me, but he also has other responsibilities at home to take care of since he's been gone. It's a constant struggle to balance his time with me, working on his Masters, and taking care of house stuff.

I never understood or even thought twice about about military families, because I didn't know any. That world seemed so far away from me - like it wasn't really happening. And now I'm living in that world. It's just so crazy to me. It has changed me into a stronger person, so for that I am thankful, but it is a huge life change. Daily challenges arise with schedules changes or weird rules the Air Force comes up with that affect us. I think the important thing is making sure this life makes us closer as a couple, but I know that isn't always the case for military families, which breaks my heart. I honestly don't know how people do it without God's help. Although the military have the noble purpose of protecting our country, it comes with a sacrifice to their families. Not everyone understands that, and I don't blame them. I wouldn't get it if I wasn't in it. Thus comes a piece of the isolation you feel, knowing others don't understand.

All this to say, the anniversary of September 11th yesterday gave new perspective, or at least a good reminder of why people serve. My friend had a good post on Facebook, and it kept bringing me to tears (pregnancy hormones are in full effect!):

"I whine and complain a lot about the fact that my husband is separated from his family frequently, but it's days like today that remind me why we do what we do. I am thankful for people like my husband who are fighting abroad to protect our country the best they can. My babies sleep soundly at night (even with their daddy gone) because of his service."

I guess my encouragement at the end of this post is to pray for military families - I know I don't do this enough! I know they need it, and appreciate the prayers. I am thankful for the support of my family and friends, no matter how far they are from me now.